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FRIDAY, AUGUST 6, 2004

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Small Talk is Totally Railer
By Stutarded
7/22 2:20pm EDT
Sex Shop Venture More Disturbing Than Arousing
By Evan 7/29 6:57pm EDT
As we moved along the back of the store, browsing among the butt plugs (I had NO idea these were real) and "Make a mold of your cock" (who's using this, really?). A young pregnant lady enters and makes a mad dash for the GIANT DILDO's. I watched her selection process. She picks up two (I felt like I was watching pr0n) and she weighs each one as if she were selecting vegetables at the local grocery. What is wrong with this picture? SHE'S [EXPLETIVE] PREGNANT. Normally, as any guy, I should have found this scene in the very least slightly arousing. Nope.
Gallantry And Coochie Showing Are Order Of The Day At The Tomato Cafe
By Geekman 7/22 1:42pm EDT
What is pertinent however, is the fact that during his search for nourishment on the Big City streets, our hero passed by the windows of a restaurant called The Tomato Café. It was here that our hero saw you, dear lady, sitting at your table facing the street and eating your grilled chicken salad. You were wearing a white blouse and a pink, or light red skirt, and you had your feet propped up on the windowsill as you laughed at some joke your date must have told you. Everyone on the street was stopping to look at you through the window, so beautiful and full of life. So charming. So happy. So utterly clueless that you were showing the world your coochie.
A Simple Message From a Happy Girlfriend
By Greenie 7/22 2:03pm EDT
FAF and I are attempting to work things out (more on that later, maybe) and, by the way, can I just say how much I lurve terms of endearments?  It's been so long since a boy has called me anything nice that I'm not quite sure how to handle it. Anyway, I was going to go on a rant about something that happened to me today, but because I'm in such a wonderful happy mood, instead I will just say this: Please do not talk to me, especially about work, when I am trying to pee. 
Internet Porn Actresses Attract Altruistic Men Through Boundless Joy, Love of Life
By Ken 7/13 7:45pm EDT
Ladies, do you want to know why we love Internet porn so much? Here's the answer: It's because the women in there look like they are having fun and that makes us feel good. All we want is to make you happy. We cannot stand it when you are upset.
Contractor, Boyfriend Admire Woman's Natural Breasts
By Redwhore 7/13 7:30pm EDT
This morning, we made love with me in a little tee shirt that I had worn while a cute contractor was at my house yesterday. On my knees with just the tee shirt on, no panties, nothing else, K kneeled in front of me and I whispered to him, asking if he thought that contractor had wanted to touch them.
A.M. Doorman, Store Worker Have Seen Horrors Worse Than Woman's Gauche Lilac T-Shirt
By Ari 7/2 4:02pm EDT
I was wrong. And so, to the people who participate in my typical day to day experiences, in the best semblance of order I can muster: *Dog ~ you’re color blind {or so widespread rumor would have me believe} and you can’t see much higher than my shins anyway, so eh… deal with it. *Marco {the A.M. doorman} ~ good thing you’re from a war torn country, replete with refugees and the displaced, I think it’s safe to assume you’ve seen worse. *Ali {the bodega guy where I buy the paper every morning} ~ see above.
Bad Sex With Ex Finally Ends Relationship For Good
By Thought-flow 6/11 12:26pm EDT
I went to Rob's last night after my meeting. I was thinking I needed some friend time and to be honest, nobody else was available. Anyway, I crashed on his couch almost immediately. For some reason we both woke up in the middle of the night, around the same time and were hanging out on the couch. As you can guess, we ended up sleeping with each other. It's really not a bad thing, except that I was really weirded out (and still am) by the fact that I was totally not into the sex. It was mediocre at best (for both of us, since we discussed it).
Nostalgic Lover Only Beat the Girl of His Dreams Once
By Forte 6/11 12:21pm EDT
Well I guess I should begin with the fact that I never believed in love at first sight. Then I met her. I'm not the one to sound soft... anymore... but she was the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on. Her personality attracted me even more. We fought a lot. I mean a lot. But we never tried to really hurt one another. I could never beat her though except for once when she allowed me to. Well thats it for the post.
Eww, Gross, Naked Men Have Cooties
By Mackenzie 6/11 11:58am EDT
I was watching The L Word, and the heterosexual sex scenes are gross! I dont know if its just me, but it lacks passion! its so cold and disgusting! Maybe they do it on purpose, you know, to get people to be grossed out by heterosexual sex. A few days ago, Jourdan mooned me, and I also took a glimpse at his penis. Ewww.
He Was A Singer And A Rhymer, And A Coworker, And A Guy Named Cristoph
By Professor Dollar Fifty 6/6 9:19pm EDT
I had a huge crush on Chris, and he evidently had a huge crush on me. He expressed unabashed joy at the fact that I had gotten through my ordeal and was back. And single. First problem was that he had a girlfriend. They were on their way out, but I have never been one to even contemplate being the "other woman". Okay, actually this did happen once, but, well, not with Christoph. I had just gotten out of my first real relationship, and I was very lonely and probably a bit insane, but I knew that this situation was not going to be the one to heal me, at least not in this manner.
F to the L-Zo, OG to the Iz-Ing
By Vikki 6/6 3:08pm EDT
It's dark and stormy outside right now. God, I love thunderstorms. They make me feel wild and sexy and unrestrained. It makes me want dark and dangerous things. All that power. It makes me shiver...I miss the sting of the flogger; while I am far from a pain slut, there was something soothing, challenging, and incredibly fuckably sexy about presenting my ass for a good flogging.
Nathan's Mad Sex Appeal Leads Raina To Undress And Beg For It
By Nathan 6/6 2:47pm EDT
I looked down at her..."I though you liked that?" I said quizzically wondering what made her turn over so quickly and interrupt my tease fest. "I did.....too much, but I want more. No more teasing...." With that last comment, she let her hands drop to her sides, and bringing her knees towards her chest, she removed her panties and threw them to the floor. She lowered her legs back down on the bed allowing me to see every naked inch of her. I stood there for a second, still fully dressed. "Well, silly.....just don't stand there" she said and lightly spread her legs apart....
Wood Morning: Teenage Couple Forgoes Breakfast, Brushing Teeth For Sex
By Garv 6/6 2:53pm EDT
We hugged and he had a morning hard-on. I told him to get on top of me and we started touching each other hungrily. Our pants and his shirt were off, and we touched and rubbed against each other, not kissing because of our morning breath.
My Ex-Boyfriend Raped and Murdered a 79-year-old Woman; Wonder if I Scarred Him
By Manic Gurl 6/6 2:54pm EDT
Scott Malsky, 27, pleaded guilty in May and was sentenced to life in prison for the 1993 murder and rape of 79-year-old Pauline Farrington in her Port Charlotte home...This Scott Malsky is my ex boyfriend. He was not like that when I was with him. When he was my boyfriend, he was 15 and I was 16.
Society's Double Standards For Men And Women's Sexual Exploits Lead Woman Into Pink Plastic Dildo Land
By KCat 5/30 12:33pm EDT
As much as I'd like to consider myself a feminist who balks at societal notions of being tied to one man, it's hard to shake years of growing up in a culture where someone who is sexually liberated is labeled a whore. The idea that one must go without sex until you meet someone you love & have a future with...well, if you take a look at how late people are getting married these days, we'd have a hell of lot more road rage if everybody was abstaining. I *know* that the idea is ridiculous. Still, I had a few boyfriends that I would only allow oral sex because I didn't want another notch in my "how many guys have you slept with" belt. (Five, if you're counting).
Best Friend Fits Webster's Definition Flawlessly
By The Nicolster 5/28 3:12pm EDT
I really wanted to write an update on how great a friend I have in a lady named Shannananana. Shannon and I have been friends on and off (majority on) for 15 years. And last night, we stayed up late giggling on the phone til four in the morning. I can say with absolute certainty that there isn't anything I couldn't talk to her her about. I never fear her judgement, even when I know I done something bad, and every time I do tell her the craziness of my actions her advice reassures me that I'm worth it. And while thinking about our friendship we thought about somebody that would NEVER EVER be her friend. Then I started to think about what defines friendship so I looked up the word friendship, and I found this definition.
Stupid Girl Falls For Woody's Cheatin' Heart, Again and Again
By Manic Gurl 5/25 4:37pm EDT
In March of 1992, Red called me and asked me if I wanted to go to the bowling alley with her. When we got there, Woody was there with Karens family. He said something to Karen, and she said she wished he'd leave her alone. I spoke up and quipped "If he was bothering me like that, I'd want to keep him around" and he swayed over to me, draped his arm across my shoulder and said he liked me. Bowling balls crashed into pins, and I asked him if he wanted to go for a ride in Red's van and he said sure.
Diaper Boy's Conflicting Fetishes Pose Challenge for Novice Mistress
By Pagan Moss 5/25 12:00am EDT
My head started swimming as I thought about all the things he liked and what he wanted to fit into the 30 minutes. He seemed a little complicated. I mean, I wasn't familiar with someone having so many different fetishes at the same time and trying to touch on all of them during one show seemed challenging.

Woman Minimizes Indecent Picture Right Before Co-Worker Walks In
By naughtysecret 5/22 5:00pm EDT
I get back from my 2 hour lunch to find an email from T titled 'Welcome back from lunch!!'. I thought it was going to be a cute little message from her, but, instead it was an extremely naughty and graphic picture. About 10 seconds after I opened it, someone came into my office to talk to me. I struggled to minimize the picture and just barely made it before he walked around to my side of the desk to see what I was doing. *phew*
I Want To Get You In The Back Seat, Windows Up... Do You Want That too?
By Potpourri 5/22 12:00am EDT
I'm sure that many women are not very creative in their fantasies and a good number are inhibited about them. But a surprising number of us imagine things that are downright dirty and just as appealing to men, and even have to censor ourselves to keep from horrifying new partners.
Profiles In Marriage: Naming Cats After Historical Figures
My Wife Has a Christopher Columbus Fetish, But I Don't Really Care
By Churk 7/17 4:36pm EDT
Beth and Zoe gave them all cute names that are vaguely thematic in nature, but perhaps bestowed these names a little too soon. (I wanted to name one of them "Knuckles," but I was outvoted.) The white one is Nina, because Beth originally wanted to name the three kittens Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria. She was apparently on a big Christopher Columbus kick at that exact moment in time. Why, we don't know. Or care, really. We gave her Nina, but the other two names stayed in drydock.
For The Love Of Christ, I Do Not Have a Christopher Columbus Fetish
By Beth 7/17 4:33pm EDT
While I would be the last person to get involved in, much less start, a flame war, I feel it is in my best interest and a matter of defending my honor to speak up about my husband's last entry. 1. I did not have some sick Christpher Columbus fetish thing going when choosing kitten names. Nina was very adventurous, and so I felt Nina fit, and when describing the whole adventure name thing I mentioned the other two ships. End of discussion.
Mother/Daughter Stripping Team Is Touching, Really Weird
By Diablo 5/20 11:13pm EDT
My mother reacts with ursine ferocity when anyone fucks with her child, so I'm pretty sure if she came to work at the club, no stripper would dare to sneer at me again. Still, it would be weird watching one's mother grind on random guys and drain bottles of Bacardi 151 in the dressing room
Persistent Attempts At Arse-Love Are A Stroll In The Park Compared To Dating A Bloody French Bloke
By Eurotrash 5/20 11:43pm EDT
We’re jogging along quite nicely when all of a sudden I feel a distinctly unfamiliar nudging at my arse. I shifted politely and he shifted insistently. I shifted warningly and he shifted persistently. Finally I asked him what the fuck he was doing. He told me he wanted to place his erect penis inside my arse...Well, it was one general idea too much for me. My anus remained unviolated and we parted amicably. Ironically enough, a couple of years later I went out with a French man. Come back Max, all is forgiven.
News Of Friend's Accident Is No Deterrent To Fun Night of Smudging
By Maeve 5/21 2:06am EDT
What fun we had last night! It started out bumpy with the news that poor Lili was in a car accident earlier in the day. Before spell work I made sure to smudge her real good. When I smudged Venus, the sage bundle almost went up in flames around her crotch, guess she was extra nasty and needed the super dooper smudging in that area. We used the oil we had made some time back to annoint the candles and we used the inscense that we had made too.
Stupid Idiot Deserves Golddigger Wife
By John 5/19 8:07pm EDT
During the service they broke from traditional church type services and showed a video on one of the many video projection screens. The video was basically footage of Tony and Angela running around a large mall and Tony sat on benches while Angela went and bought large amounts of shoes, clothes, and other things. After the video the pastor, minister, whatever you call him, came back up and said that you could see by the video that Tony and Angela were good for each other. The impression that I came away with was: as long as Tony has a well paying and doesn't mind every dime he makes being spent then he'll be ok.

Hippocratic Oath Apparently Does Not Prohibit Going To See Shaved Vaginas On Own Time
By Pagan 5/19 8:23pm EDT
I jiggled my ass in his face for a while before turning around so he could see my bare pussy. "Do you like shaved pussies?" "Yes, I do. I don't get to see them very often." "Strippers in California don't shave, sweetie?" "To tell you the truth, I don't go to those kinds of places very often. I'm a doctor."
Old Man Kisses Younger Woman
By Amber 5/19 8:48pm EDT
As he stood on the door step saying good bye, and the sun caught his eyes, I realised just how clear and blue they were. I stretched out my hand for him to shake, and as he did, he turned my wrist slightly… and his lips brushed the back of my hand ~ I was kissed by a gentleman ~ today, I am a lady…
I Can Find The Clit Just Fine, But What On God's Green Earth Is 'The Dark Side Of Her Dolphin?'
By Pete 5/18 10:28pm EDT
"give lectures on morality to the dark side of her dolphin". WTF?! the dark side of her dolphin? is this a reference to a bad tan line? i have no idea. and what's the point of a message like that? even if it ended up they were selling something you were interested in, would you do business with someone who started off their solicitation to you with a message like that? not me.
Conservatives Were Always Against Sex, But The FDA... Who Knew?
By Kristin 5/12 9:31pm EDT
Wake up, no underwear, strange bed, the sun shining brightly for all the world to see your shame. I imagine there's nothing quite like that early Saturday morning stroll down 18th St. in a miniskirt and high heels—it's bad enough having to forego finding your belt so you can minimize awkward exchanges and jet. Hell of a walk of shame home, and for the ladies, that route ought to involve a swing by the pharmacy for the safe and responsible procurement of emergency contraception. Physicians understand this, and they obligingly developed Plan B. The FDA should understand this, since its advisory board is made up of physicians who approved the drug. Conservatives should emphatically applaud this, since their ostensible goal is to end abortion. You'd think so, and you'd be wrong.
New Intern Who Looks Like Angelina Jolie Inspires Lust in Male Coworker
By Ken 5/24 11:30pm EDT
My boss hired an intern that looks like a 20 year old Angelina Jolie, and I swear that if I don't relax myself soon that I might explode. I'm not kidding, this girl is beautiful and worst of all friendly. I don't know what my boss was thinking. It's just me and him in this little office, and he usually hires some guy every summer. Hiring this girl is a bad move, unless he thinks he's gonna get some. But again, this is bad news for me, I'm going to have to look at this girl for the next few months, and I don't think I'm going to make it.

Drunken Threesome is Comfort Sex At Its Finest
By Lex Konrad 5/25 12:17am EDT
Delirious in the pre-dawn light, I feel like I’m hovering above myself, like this is all lucid dreaming. I’m kneeling over her and thinking she’s so little, so little. I’m pushing it in, uncertain of my aim, trying not to accidentally bugger her, and later on so blitzed, so loopy, that I have to work at coming, her little cunt spasming against the force of my thrusts. How weird it is that I was sweet on her once and then we couldn’t have this and here we are again. It’s different now: familiar and messy and warm and relaxed. Comfort sex at its finest. All the sexual benefits of a relationship and none of the bureaucracy.
Sexually Talented Woman Fears Thorough Experience Will Scare Off Wimpy Nice Guys
By Scream to a Sigh 5/24 4:20pm EDT
John once said to me "You love sex and you're a very good shag, have you ever considered going professional?". I'm also very adventurous, there is very little I haven't done. I've got to the point now though, where this isn't necessarily a good thing. If I want to get properly involved with anyone, I have two options I can lie about my history, which becomes apparent because no matter what people say you can always tell how experienced someone is, or I can tell the truth and therefore scare them into thinking that they won't measure up. The trouble is i think that I've probably gone beyond the point of no return now, surely there are only certain sorts of men that would want to get involved with me now, when I realised all I really want is someone nice and sweet.
Women Are From Venus, Men Are From Neurotic-Ville
By Ari 5/18 11:07pm EDT
My favorite oddity of the moment? The male belief that anything we women say is a declaration of our undying love as well as a cleverly designed ploy to make sure you never see another set of breasts as long as you live. *sigh*. That’s so not the case. Let’s say you {the man} are a writer who publishes a book. We say “congratulations”. It is what it is, a mere utterance of congratulatory sentiment. It’s not code for “marry me”. Calm the fuck down, you nervous wrecks.

Everyone Knows Man's Barbed Wire Thong And Incessant Whining Is a Cry For Help
By Sarah 5/18 10:45pm EDT
I'm pretty freaking glad I quit the singles site I was on. Membership isn't officially up till the 26th, but I'm thinking I'm pretty much done right now. There's a dude on there who's wearing a barbed wire thong and going around bitching about every little thing. I suspect this is because he's having problems finding a date.
Icy Butt-Pack Comment Reflects Other Problems
By Jules 5/18 10:21pm EDT
I am, you know, falling apart, and not slowly or gracefully but all at once. As proof, I submit to you a portion of this morning’s conversation with Princess Claire. Claire: You sound strange. Are you ok? Jules: Yeah, I’m just off. Claire: off? Jules: off. You know what? My tailbone is killing me. And I didn’t do anything weird in the last few days that should make my tailbone hurt. Claire: Maybe you could put an ice pack on it. Jules: An icy butt-pack, now THAT would be great.

Relativistic View of Female Genital Mutilation No Longer Just the Domain of Leftists
By Jane Galt 5/17 6:39pm EDT
But consider this: intersexuals, people with abnormal quantities of X or Y chromosomes (XO, XXY, XYY) or hormonal conditions that alter fetal development, are often born with genitalia that are ambiguous, or abnormal. We commonly perform surgery on these people in order to define them as one gender or another. We do it for the same reason that African mothers have their daughters circumcised: so that they will fit into the tribe, meet our aesthetic standards for genital appearance, and have an easier time finding a mate.
Eternal Promises Promise To Disappoint
By Karma Chick 5/17 2:20pm EDT
Have you ever promised to love someone forever, and/or had someone make that promise to YOU? Did it ever occur to you that, without a corollary promise to endure a great deal of unhappiness over the years and not give up on the relationship because of it, promising eternal love is meaningless in a culture where it's so easy to walk away from our partners?
Male Sex a Consumption Good, Not a Commodity Good
By Michael Statsny 5/17 7:45pm EDT
This paper (Journal of Bioeconomics) provides the first econometric analysis of rationalizations of virginity loss in terms of love. Data from the UK National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles are used to estimate logit equations to predict the claim that virginity loss was occasioned by being in love.
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