| Sex-Obsessed Prude Pens Poem to a Pumpkin By John Derbyshire 7/15 4:10pm EDT
A certain young hillbilly bumpkin Was caught having sex with a pumpkin. When arrested he swore: "What's all this fuss for? Where I'm from, it's okay to hump kin!"
A Touching Love-Letter To a Dead Girl By The Wisdom Alley 7/15 10:05am EDT
Then one day, I just learned from a friend that she already had a boyfriend. At first I tried to convince myself that it was just a rumor. Her boyfriend was Mark, a popular senior who was the heartthrob at the campus. She being the cheerleader was close to the basketball team, which Mark was the captain. When I saw them walking together at the parking lot at the afternoon. I watch her with my heart slowly breaking into pieces. I saw her wave at me but I just pretended not to see her for I was scared that she might see in my eyes the pain Iím feeling inside because of seeing her with another guy. Those days that followed were the saddest days of my life.
Finding Love My First Week in Brooklyn By Grace Axelrod 7/15 9:54am EDT
er dinner he said that he'd take me home but I thought that it might be better if I walked home alone. He asked for my number but I had to say no since I haven't had the phone put in yet. He had this doubtful look in his eyes and said, "C'mon Grace, I've got to see you again." I told him that I definitely wanted to see him again and that I'd call him, so he gave me his card and said that he'd be waiting to hear from me. He kissed my forehead and said, "Goodnight, sweet Grace," and my stomach did another flip. When I was walking home I had this dreamy feeling. Is this really happening? I think I'll call him sometime but he is a lot older than I am. I guess he must be around 40 or so. I never met someone like him back home. Goodnight, sweet William.
Competing Measurement Systems Flummox Brits By The Red Baron 7/15 9:49am EDT
I agree I am a reactionary old twonk when it comes to this, but it's born more out of laziness and bloody-mindedness than anything else, I can't be bothered to try to figure out a new system I'd rather be obstreporous and have my ounces and stuff, I don't have a notion of what 25g is. Its all down to the comfort zones, I know 454g is a pound and you can work things out from that, but if you need to decide between a quarter and 100g without much time to think it's more tricky, I mean I can conceptualise 1/4lb but not 100g. Now in my defence I would claim that I was schooled in an era that didn't know if it was coming or going the metric system was supposed to be in place but most people didn't understand it so they just taught you what they knew hence we got a half-arsed idea of what either were.
Indie Boy at Indie Burlesque Show Drenched in Indie Beer By mpls Indie 7/10 7:30pm EDT
The best thing about these shows is not the strippers with tattoos(OK it is) but the music. Where else can you see nearly naked ladies get their groove on to Modest Mouse and the Pixies If you know of any let me know. My favorite was the girl dressed up in cutoff jeans and t-shirt that stripped to AC/DC while slamming Pabst Blue Ribbon and spitting it all over the crowd. And I even loathe AC/DC!
Aaron Mase Lost To Addiction Pt. 1 By sleep not work 7/10 7:26pm EDT
Iím sure many of you remember Aaron Mase the way I would like to remember him Ė as one of the best friends and most all-around excellent human beings on the planet. To be honest, when I first met him, I didnít just like the guy, I worshipped the ground he walked on.
Exclusive: Paris Hilton is a rich spoiled brat By Alice Ayers 7/10 7:21pm EDT
I am tending bar and being the sole waitress at a private party with a Carzy Austrian Chef (whom up til that morning I assumed was a Crazy French Chef). Paris Hilton is chatting animatedly to one of the rich, WASP-y boys renting the house [for$250, 000 for the long weekend] who might have been cute had he had a single thought in his head. I asked Paris if I could get her anything from the bar.
Star-Crossed Lovers Break Up, So Bry Can Focus on Getting Married By Jigga 7/9 5:54pm EDT
It's really very sad. i had to run to the bathroom and just cry becus it hurt so bad. it's for the best. we made out like a tornado last night and we stopped and he was hugging me and i was like 'what's going on? what are we doing?' to make a long story short.. i eased his fears by saying that we shouldn't fool around anymore and he just focus on getting married (5 weeks and counting..)
||We Want The Past, And We Want it Now!
| Sure, Our Lives Suck, But Future People Would Kill to Be Where We Are By Cameron Marlow 7/9 6:01pm EDT
After re-rewatching 24 Hour Party People I've become obsessed with the idea of being in a place at a particular point in time. What time and place would you choose? For me it's Manchester in either the late 70's or the late 80's, and for other's it's Soho in the 60's or Athens at the height of the Greek empire. The irony of this experiment is that if we really did travel to these historic venues, we'd be much more excited about being there than the people involved. There's thousands of moments right now that people of the future would be willing to pay a year's salary to be a part of, but we won't know for years exactly what we should be jealous of.
Traditional Malaysian Patio a Shining Beacon From Our Glory Days By Idrus 7/9 6:09pm EDT
This is the patio of our house, it is call the Serambi in Malay... It is a place to sit and relax with friends for a cup of coffee, just for the fun of it and enjoy... All traditional Malay houses have serambi but in today's modern houses this part of the house has been left out and not to be seen anymore ...And as for my house I had it specially built to reflect my love for the tradition and the feeling that comes with the Malay traditional house.... Nostalgic I guessed... What an interesting concept and it shows the wisdom of the past, our great heritage and the way to enjoy life in a simple way.....
| Breast-Obsessed Pundit Moves on to Fresher Territory By Maine 7/9 5:49pm EDT
I'm pretty sure that one out of every five QW posts mentions the boobie. In a sort of desirous, longing manner. But come on, man - how many posts can you write about the boobie? I need to broaden my horizons, right? Alright... here goes: I see a lot of email spam offering treatments to add 3 inches to the man-wang. So this leaves me with two huge questions: Why is it always 3 inches? Is that the max amount they can finagle out of the average inadequate penis?
Fame Hungry Imperialist Americans Get it All in Small Chinese Towns By John 7/9 5:44pm EDT
Being a foreigner in a smallish Chinese town is quite an experience. Wherever you go, whatever you do, you're a spectacle. If you can speak any Chinese, your (near-constant) audience will be amazed and enthralled. A foreigner in a smallish Chinese town who can speak Chinese fairly well can quite quickly become a local celebrity, even getting newspaper writeups and TV spots.
Avid Stepper Not Stepping Enough By Ron'a 7/9 5:38pm EDT
Yesterday, I walked about 10,500 steps. Today, I walked about 14,500. My goal is to walk 40,000 steps over my 3 day weekend. I weighed myself this morning and I was down 3 pounds! I always feel so sullen if I only lose a pound. Yes, I know that is all you are supposed to lose. I am currently over 100 pounds over my ideal weight, so 1 pound a week seems a bit sparse.
Go to Bank, Check, Cut Ex-Boyfriend From Life Forever, Double Check By Twisted Angel 7/9 5:22pm EDT
The ex-boyfriend came over today to close the joint-account. X-Bf: Woww, you look great. Me : Thanks. X-Bf: What did you do? I mean, u look different. Me : I've done nothing, ok? Save all the compliments for 'her' will ya? X-Bf: You know hurting you is the last thing I would do. You're my good friend. Me : (Smirk) I've told you once and I'm sticking to it. We can never be friends. X-Bf: Please, can we just forget it? Me : I just did. You and me, it never happened. That's it.
Soldiers Words of Wisdom Actually Quite Chilling By R1 7/9 4:54pm EDT
I was posting some thoughts about an event but just decided that it's a bit too much for an open log. What bothers me is that one soldier later remarked, "Killing isn't hard; learning not to like it is the hard part." And everyone just nodded.
Israel's Equivalant of the Queen's Guard: Joel the Soldier By Seth 7/9 5:03pm EDT
This is Joel, a soldier that I befriended outside of Ein Gedi. He was waiting here for some of his military buddies to go and swim in the pools in the nature reserve. Soldiers are everywhere in Israel, and all the American tourists jockey to get their pictures taken with them. Especially the girls (ahem, Christiana and Micha!)
Key to Recreational Handcuffs Legally Defined as Stolen Police Property By Kurt Scott Hopke 7/9 3:36pm EDT
We're going through security, and the security guard asks me if I'm a peace officer. "Um, no." "Then why do you have a handcuff key?" "Um, they're for my handcuffs." "It's a misdemeanor to have these. It's stolen police property." "What?" "Yeah, I'm going to have to confiscate this." "You're kidding, right?" At this point, a county officer had walked up.
Love Doctor Prescribes Guaranteed Cure: Himself By Chad 7/9 3:17pm EDT
way down inside, woman you need it. loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove. you need coolin, and i ain't foolin. (guitar solo). i'm gonna give you every inch of my love. shake for me girl. i wanna be your backdoorman(!). Uh, keep a cooly, baby.
Anti-Smoking Legislation Not Enough, It's Time For Violence! By Wayne Tucker 7/7 9:15pm EDT
It is time for "Punch a Smoker in the Face Day"! The beauty of the name lies in its simplicity - It's exactly what it purports to be on the surface. On this designated day, if you see someone smoking in public, it is your legal right (neigh, duty) to walk up to this person and cold cock'em! You can punch them in the nose, break their jaw, sucker punch them - whatever you do best (Grandma will be crying with fear on the outside, but she will be secretly thanking you on the inside).
Poem Honors The Emotionally Abusive By Mands 7/7 9:07pm EDT
you could call me anything and i would love it you could call me a bitch and i would love it you could hurt me and i would still love to be yours you could come and go and i would always wait for you.
The Unthinkable Happened: McDonalds Burned Down By Janis Gore 7/5 5:42pm EDT
Our local McDonald's burned nearly to the ground last night. Reports are that the fire occurred at or about 10 p.m., but I don't remember sirens. Lucy and I drove by to take a look today after my mother-in-law told us it had happened. Only a scorched shell was left, with smoke rising from the interior. I'd be surprised if this were some kind of protest. Insurance? An angry employee? An accident? Neglect? No one was injured, as far as we know. The gossip wheels are turning in this small town. We'll find out more tomorrow.
Freedom ain't Free, Today is for the Troops By Michael Mcneil 7/5 1:40pm EDT
And to the service men and women across the globe, protecting that honor and freedom on a daily basis ... thank you. It may not be much, but I do appreciate what sacrifices you have made to provide my family with a safe place to live. And this goes for all men and women who have served, especially those who have passed away.
I Couldn't Have Made It Without My Wonderful Readers By Adam Wagner 7/3 1:38pm EDT
I checked my Blog-Meter, and it says that the site has been visited one thousand times! 1000! Amazing! I started this site in March of '04. So, doing the math, that's 1000 divided by 4 months. That's 250 hits a month. Divided by about 30 days. That's just about 7 hits per day on the site!
| Slippery Slope Fallacy, Meet Your Match By Julian Sanchez 7/1 6:48pm EDT
I'm always a little puzzled by a rhetorical strategy I occasionally encounter in friendly political arguments. I'll often, unsurprisingly enough, end up taking a libertarian position, and my interlocutor will respond with something like: "Well, you're a libertarian, so of course you think that, but..." as if to suggest that an ideology is some kind of suspect ulterior motive, along the lines of "Well, you work for ADM, so of course you're for ethanol subsidies." But of course, that's sort of backwards: I don't believe in low taxes, strong property rights, free trade, and robust civil liberties because I'm a libertarian. Rather, I'm a libertarian because I believe all those things for other independent reasons.
European at Heart Liberates Prudish Canadians With her Naked Ways By Sarah 7/1 6:37pm EDT
so we swam and had fun over on the docks. when it came time to leave, catherine was content to walk back to the car drenched, but i wasn't, because i didn't want to drive in wet clothes. solution? get changed! so i did. and catherine was shocked when i did right there on the dock. when i changed my top she tried to stand in front of me. i told her i didn't care, it's not that big a deal. so she didn't bother sheilding me when i was changing into my pants. but as i did, i turned around and on the other dock, every single face was staring at me. EVERY one.
Gay Pride Weekend Provides Many Opportunities for Gayness 7/1 6:30pm EDT
Saturday night - Muscle bear sea cruise with Bob and Larry. Heavy on the bear, light on the muscle, but a great time. Took my shirt off in public and didn't care. Very gay. Sunday - Hit the parade for a couple hours. Gay. Then went to the Pier Dance for the first time ever, in the company of Bob and Charlie. Triple gay. Danced in the sun among many shirtless boys (mine stayed on this time). Oh so very gay.
World's Best Mom Would Never Trade Her Daughter for a TV By Sunny Cervantes 7/1 6:01pm EDT
I was watching this episode of Law & Order. It dealt with the smuggling of children from Nigeria for slavery and prostitution. This is the first time in my life that I watched a detective TV show and actually cried. I thought of Angel who was sleeping peacefully and dreamt of all things innocent. I cannot imagine selling her to a stranger for a TV set.
Normal, Ordinary Guy Wants to Be President to Revoke the Kefauver-Harris Amendments By Antithesis 7/1 5:53pm EDT
This man is no career politician or Washington insider. He has no deep pockets or powerful political allies. Unlike Bush, Nader and Kerry, he has principles. And stands by them, but never forces those principles on others. He is just an ordinary man from Austin, TX. A former computer programmer and scuba diving instructor who took up studying the consitution. His goals are not power or fame, he is simply a man who wants his country to be a great place to live. Special interests need not apply. Statists and neo-conservatives not welcome.
What? Judge Thomas Not an Uncle Tom, Scalia Lapdog? By Eugene Volokh 6/30 5:03pm EDT
This is just further evidence that the "Justice Thomas follows Justice Scalia in lockstep" argument that some have made is simply a slur on Justice Thomas. We've seen lots of cases where Justice Thomas has taken a different view from Justice Scalia ó consider his opinions on the scope of the Commerce Clause, the scope of the Ex Post Facto Clause, the protections offered to anonymous speech, the Excessive Fines Clause, crossburning, and more.
Umm, yeah...Maybe Iraq Not the Best Place for Tourists By Tito 6/30 4:58pm EDT
they've kidnapped another person in iraq?? what dahell?? i'm putting the entire urf on blast -- if u are not iraqi, get out and stay out of iraq. now. much as i hate to say it - dont go there to spread the gospel, dont go there to build highways, and dont go there thinking it's not going to happen to me. these cats are wildin' out. how many people have to die before u get the message. at first i thought it was just crazy americans...who tours in iraq? i'm not taking my vacation in allahramadanhaacken, iraq.
||Feminist Rape Theory: Tired or Wired?
| Personal Experience Informs View of Rapists By Professor Dollar Fifty 6/25 5:07pm EDT
I could have avoided this situation by not drinking, but I also could have avoided this situation by not having friends, not leaving my house, and not breathing. I could have avoided this situation by having a gun or perhaps something that looks like a gun or perhaps by macing the (expletive).
Libertarians are mean, stupid, retarded, dodo-brained, dumbheads, and they make me mad, mad, mad! By Victoria 6/25 5:04pm EDT
Camille Paglia, a lunatic who uses the misnomer "feminist" to get herself onto talk shows so that hegemonic stations can pretend to have a pro-woman's perspective, argues gender issues using a libertarian's approach. She blames women who are date raped for getting what they deserve. Come on, she argues, if you get drunk with a guy in college, what are you really trying to do? Paglia believes that women using their sex in exchange for power is the natural order of things. She believes in personal responsibility. And thus, there are no survivors, or victims, as she says, of abuse. Take responsibility for your own assault.
| Slate Writer Out to Lunch on Drug Prices By Derek Lowe 6/25 4:58pm EDT
I hate to put myself in the position of defending Imclone and Erbitux, but this argument is exaggerated to the point of nonsense. I know what he's trying to say - that making monoclonal antibodies is an established technology - and up to a point, it is. But Bazell makes it sound like a bunch of undergraduates could whip up a batch of Erbitux for fifty bucks or so, and that is, to use a term of the pharmaceutical art, complete (expletive).
Highs and Lows of a Crazy Weekend By Big DIrty 6/21 7:19pm EDT
Now I must complain about the moronic female at HH. I come in and order my usual (2 Pork Roll Egg and Cheese with Provolone and an order of fries), and instead of one of the middle eastern guys thats always in there and knows exactly what I want, this person screws up my order, not once, not twice, but several times. First, she only makes one sandwich, which I told her I wanted two. Then she puts american on instead of the provolone, and cuts the sandwich. Habib, Jerold, or whatever their names are, make them properly and DON'T CUT.
Modern British Politics in Perspective By Professor R. Baron 6/21 7:08pm EDT
Labour's response to the 1980s was to drop much of its socialist credentials such as Clause 4, which was a tenet in the party manifesto committing itself to the nationalisation of industry. The party did this in an attempt to address what it saw as itself being unelectable, it sought not to stick to its guns but chase the electorate to the right in the hope of capturing people on the whet end of the Conservative party. Now Labour may point to this strategy achieving success in 1997 which one of the largest landslide victories ever and backed up by a consolidation in 2001.
Best Friend Is Contingency Spouse By Szabster 6/21 7:12pm EDT
I've got a best friend who has promised to marry me at 33 if we're both still single.† Unless he changes, which some stellar girl might do to him, then that sounds like a plan to me.† But wouldn't that be a funny story to tell the kids - "Mommy and Daddy got married b/c they could stand each other and couldn't stand anyone else."† And there's the whole love "problem."†
Who Do Parents Think They Are, Your Mom or Something? By Erica Nix 6/19 3:38pm EDT
But seriously, where do parents get off. They make you how you are, and then they seem SO frustrated by it! Sometimes I understand. For instance, just a minute ago I was walking in my backyard only wearing bra and undies. Apparantly, my father was freaking out, but he couldn't come tell me because I WAS IN MY BRA AND UNDIES! My mom came out to tell me, I laughed, but now I feel kinda bad. I guess several neighbors could see me.
Angel's Sugarbear Listening To His Heart Being Torn Apart By Sugarbear 6/18 3:18pm EDT
I know that we can have a chance at being a wonderful couple but we need to talk for that to happen. Not push the others away. I hated how i felt when you cheated on me and lied to me everytime about it. How you changed your identity so you can go back to someone who caused all of our problems. How i dont know what else you have kept from me over our time together.
This, My Friends, is What Makes Life Worth Living By Joe Bloggs 6/18 3:24pm EDT
They say marijuana, dope, weed skunk...whatever gets you through times of no money better than money gets you through the times with no weed......so I took it upon myself to get comfortably numb and play online chess and this evening I am going to partake in a few bottles of wine and a few more spliffs, I just thought I would let you know this because that is what blogging is all about isn't it?
Yes, I Admit, I Would Use My God-Like Powers for Evil By Karma Chick 6/17 5:58pm EDT
Part of the premise of ["Bruce Almighty"], for those who haven't seen it, is what a guy does when God gives him divine powers, and it made me think; what would *I* do if I suddenly had those sorts of powers? I'd plan a little trip to Vegas so that I could "win" enough $ to make me quietly wealthy through "clever" commodities investments. It'd occur to me that I had a variety of ways to see certain famous hotties naked with no risk of getting caught, and yes, I'd do it. Is it moral to peep? Of course not. Would that stop me from getting some illicit thrills from my "powers"? Not a chance.
Husband Defending Liberty, Sleeping Around By Bianca 6/16 8:13pm EDT
He was actually even talking to this E-6's wife that he works with. The (expletive) didn't know it was me and told me she had her cards done today and she saw me in them (well him anyway-LMAO). Bet she didn't see this coming...I ended up getting her number so I called her and told her that she'd better go and get her money back from the tarot lady, because she is going to need it if she wants to leave her husband for mine, because he is going to be one broke (expletive)h!! He also started talking about why he did this. He said our sexlife was not up to par. He said he was bored with it.
Um...yeah..sorry for, uh, deleting your blog By Dave Winer and Jeneane Sesser 6/16 9:22pm EDT
This gives people basically the heads up that they were asking for. I understand that you would like to have had your site remain accessible during that period, but I just couldn't simply work that out. And you could say I should have explained it, and I could have done better, and you may be right. That I should have and I could have... it's possible... but it's also not clear to me that people wouldn't have found something else to find fault with. I mean, this is sort of the attitude on the Internet. It's sort of like people just love to jump up and down and it hardly matters how well you do something because basically certain thing happen and people will jump up and down so just accept that.